Every week I count the days until Thursday. I ruminate, ponder and introspect on all the goals I have established, my progress, shortfalls and new areas in which I can develop. This week was no different. The only minor change was the day. The day that should have been a Thursday was rescheduled to the Tuesday; the day I have my focused contact with my mentor.
Five minutes after she arrived we touched some points that were of concern and, as usual, I had insights, revelations and personal epiphanies. However, the most riveting of all hit me in the face only the morning after – I am becoming a black hole. It hit me because, not only was she coming in from a meeting a great distance away, she had long work hours and tight schedule and YET she still found time to mentor me, as demanding and inward-focusing as I am. She had used her earliest day – fatigued as she was – to meet me and I have not yet delved into how her day was or even broached simple, polite, table conversation. The HORROR!
This individual and others, have given, and are still giving, of themselves and of their time to help me along my drive for self-actualization – top tier in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Mind you, a sagacious friend of mine pointed out that I may be overreaching because “one must first satisfy these lower-hierarchy needs before we aspire to self-actualization.” She also posed the question of “Is it because these lower needs are not fully satisfied that you think so much about yourself?” Then after the eye-opening critique she pointed out that “You have to meet these basic needs before you are of use to anyone else. You have to take care of yourself to be able to take care of others.” …truly food for thought
Here I am absorbing the out pouring of hearts into my vessel and yet I am not sharing. Previously, I have been quite active in community service – giving of my time and giving freely. In that realm I felt that I was impacting lives and making a difference. I was passionate about pouring into others the meagre knowledge, skills, emotions, anything that I knew would fill that individual’s void/need. That was before I actively sought out mentorship. Now, after being nurtured I still feel empty because my gaze is inward. I have neglected to continue pouring into others as I am being poured into. I believe that although I have undertaken additional responsibilities that have pushed my service to others on a back bench.
Using the frame of a black hole, I began to look at other areas of my life and that of society. I began to ponder more deeply about taking responsibility to pour into the lives of others with whom I come in contact. A kind word or gesture, spending five minutes to help someone struggling in an area in which I am stronger and even the aspect that goes sorely under- and unappreciated – listening.
Yes, to quote my friend, who again posed a question even the greatest philosophers would be with, again that perhaps “everyone goes through a stagnant period where they can only take and absorb from others without being able to give back immediately.” The key is to recognise that for what it is and learn all you can to fill up another vessel.
My confession is penned, because I use this medium as the first step of my outpouring. Often, blinded by our own goals and desires we fail to listen to the cries of those hurting, to offer our companionship or silence, as needed. Pouring into others is not about the material, it is about touching a life that will touch another.
lifemullings 